The definition of irony would be if dog shit tasted like gourmet candy.

 

If you can part your hair with your tongue, you're gonna get dates!

 

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you're upside down.

 

I never introduced myself here. Is it too late now?

 

My kids feel deprived that they’re just now learning about alphabet soup. Little buggers have every electronic gadget known to man, but regret missing out on canned soup???
Is there a cut-off age for when you can drop your kids off at a fire station with no questions asked?

 

They can't use you if you're useless

 

Posting this here because it's only semi-political. More about the kind of person than their politics.

But comments like "I don't have time to protest. I work."

Yeah......so do I, but it's not ALL that I do. If work took up my entire weekly life, I think I'd just drink cyanide. That sounds like a miserable existence. I'm not THAT damned dull.

 

Pork loin roast in the oven … sweet fancy crackers the smell may drive me to gnaw my own arm off.

I’m hungry.

 

I heard an English speaking person mimic the Japanese language. I wonder what it sounds like, when a Japanese speaking person mimics something he hears in English?

 

I feel it’s time.

 

Last year's "Fairness Act" finally came to fruition!

 

I put giant blueberries in the tapioca pudding I just made and I just want to know what the weather’s going to be like when I go to pick up my Nobel.

Like, will peep toe shoes be okay?

 

Sometimes, good old-fashioned special effects trump anything CGI can do. Point in case: The Howling (1981). Most frightening depiction of a lycanthrope in any werewolf flick I've seen. Pure demonic, nightmare fuel and beats the living hell out of some of the shitty CGI I've seen in some more modern flicks.

 

Just because you surround yourself with ass-kissers doesn't mean your shit don't stink!
-Me

 

Going to be a very busy week. Office & travel, and not the good travel.

 

I don't care what my alcoholic friends say: Whiskey and Froot Loops is disgusting.

 

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Going through an old drawer looking for a fountain pen, I want to start using one, and found an old Property Tax bill from 1994, 30+ years ago...Property Tax was in New Jersey then $3800. Today $14500. The assessed value of the property from then has quadrupled, as have the taxes.. Seems right. I think when we bought in 1965, the taxes were maybe $700 or $800 bucks

 

How do we go back in time???!!